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(Not) Welcome to the Great Saudi Arabia

The Glorious Kingdom of Saudi Arabia

A sword? Ah! Peaceful country indeed!
Saudi Arabia is the world's best country. With the best rulers. And the best population. And oh of course what they say as "Pure Islam".
Let us get into this blessed Kingdom of 'Islam'!!!

The True Protectors of Islamic Heritage

The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia is the best country to live in if you are good Muslim. You get everything that 'conforms' to the Holy Quran. In fact they are so holy and pious and the royal family so divine that they have almost become the successors of the Prophet. Indeed they have been using the name - Saudi Arabia instead of Arabia. The House of Saud 'owns' Arabia. Not 'Hijaz' as wished by the Prophet. Of course their wishes have a greater priority than what the Prophet did or said. They interpret Islam in the way Allah has told them to. Anybody else having a different interpretation is wrong and deserves to be put to death. All hail the glorious kingdom.

The Great Economy of Saudi Arabia

This is the best economy of the world. It stands on 7 great pillars. They are : 
  1. Petroleum
  2. Petroleum
  3. Petroleum
  4. Petroleum
  5. Petroleum
  6. Petroleum
  7. Petroleum
So as you can see, they export all these unique products and rule the world market. Without these 7 the Kingdom would never have been able to flourish!

The Men of Saudi Arabia

Ah well, no moral codes are violated in this. The moral
rules apply mainly to women. This is legal.
It is wrong to think of Saudi men to be all rich people.  There are many normal people like you and me. They have great freedom as well. Indeed who does not want to 'own' say 10 wives? Ah that would be fun - with all the group activity :D Indeed it is legal in Saudi Arabia. If you don't have cattle - worry not, marry and you get something you can sleep with! 

They are also righteous. They have created a wonderful police system. They have this religious police that has powers to do anything to destroy the evil of immorality. They have the God/Allah Saud gifted power to decide what is moral and what is immoral. They are necessary otherwise the immoral women may force the men to make love to them in the streets, shopping malls, public toilets and parks in Saudi Arabia. 

The people are themselves owned by the divine Saudi royal family. They can perfectly take away your daughter if she goes out without a male guardian to buy a piece of chocolate and behead her.

Even then Saudi Arabia probably boasts of the highest number of Gay males in the world. Since men and women are not allowed to mingle, men meet their desires as available. In the morning they find they slept with a guy. Things like this are common where 

The Free Women of Saudi Arabia

Saudi Arabia is the only country to recognize the free market policies. You can actually buy slaves, women. the 'free' market regulates this trade. It works especially if the person or thing you are buying is not a Muslim. You know their interpretation of Islam is supreme. So trade women and have fun.
A Beautiful Lady with blonde hair, blue eyes,
hazel skin, cute smile wearing Abaya. Or
Is that a man? Who knows!

They wear the best dress in the world - abaya. No this is not a burqa. Like the French they also don't like the burqa. Burqa is too revealing. They insist on abaya - a full clothing that hides you from the entire world. Looking almost like a spacesuit you can see only through a net in front of your eyes. 

Obviously if say a girls' school catches fire, male fire brigade teams will not be allowed to douse the fire. Nor should the girls be allowed to come out. If in the commotion a single girl comes out alive from the blazing inferno with her dress burnt to shreds she will have to beheaded. So it is better of course, any day, to burn to death in the school with your friends. Well actually it happened here.

Saudi officials also take Internet trolls too seriously. Women can't drive. That is what they think. Indeed if they drive imagine what vice will happen. Women will drive out and outrun the Moral Police when they are making love in the sidewalks. They may even run over the police officials or other civilians if they are making love while driving.

A woman must have a male relative with her all the time. Otherwise other men will take her away and have sex with her. Of course, for the girl, proving that is impossible and even unnecessary. If she goes out without a male guardian, if she is violated, the responsibility will be the girl's only. These Godly rules will ensure that the girl will be...you guessed it - beheaded. In minor case you may be stoned or beaten with lashes.

A lot can be said about the glorious women of Saudi Arabia. For now this should be enough.
For something that does not exist you can click here  - I was surprised not to see a 404 page!

File:Dira Square.JPG
This is Deera Square - See how beautiful it looks. Men and Women are beheader there. In public. Plenty of pictures are there of women being beheader. If you wish to Google it. It makes me sick, I won't give any links
There are live coverages of Women being stones to death. It must be awefully entertaining and also a public event as people flock in their hundreds to witness the glorious events. Go check Youtube. I won't give the links. :P

The Law of Saudi Arabia

Shariah - Period. The courts in Saudi Arabia are appointed by the great Kings, who get divine blessings from Allah. Of course you can't study law anywhere. You have to be a cleric. Preach good things like destroy all churches, kill apostates etc and you be a cleric. Then you be a judge. Then you decide the life or death of a girl just raped. Saudis really keep things simple.

A lot of things are banned. That makes life simple. you can legally do very little. So you stay put and have the freedom to be a dumbo. You can not smoke in public(for women), celebrate your religion - unless it is Sunni Islam, drive cars, play music, dance, watch women's sports, go alone without male relatives and so on.

Indeed if you pray to Jesus and are caught you can be...beheaded. :D The Saudis have managed to take it to a hilarious level. The crowd cheers "Allahu Akbar", you are blindfolded and chopped off in Chop Chop square - also called the Deera square. 

Boy oh boy this is a wonderful country. I bet you want to go there, especially if you are a woman. For more Legal system notes check this article. Blasphemy laws are also enforced, even if you are a non-Muslim! If you are in Saudi Arabia - you are a Muslim :D Though not if you are Shia. The house of Saud considers them to be untermenschen.

Your Local Mosque? The Saudis financed it! Schools? Naaaah!

They financed officially some 5000 mosques or Islamic centers all over the world. And this is from the Government. Then there are trusts, NGOs, and other organizations who believe(rightly) that more than peace, food, education spending billions of  dollars in making mosques and spreading Islam is important.

So buy you Saudi uniforms aka the dress code, beat your wife, marry three more and go for a wonderful vacation to Saudi Arabia.

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