Skip to main content

Growing up

Time affects everything and everyone

We all grow up. After college, friends go places, to different states and far away countries. You get less and less time. Some go for higher studies, again, in other states. Parents get older. Then friends start getting married. First it’s usually the girls. One by one, your crushes tie the knot. You dismiss it, you are still young. Then your guy friends start getting married too. Your circle shrinks. In the end you look around. All you are left with are ideological nutjobs, immature imbeciles, idealistic crazies, bohemian hippies, or other misfits. Do you really belong here?


Okay, that was too harsh. But you think. You say to yourself, ‘dil to baccha hai jee’. 


Okay, fair enough.


And then...


Then, you see a growing pot belly. Something you always despised. Your dad had one (he still does). After taking a shower, you look at the mirror. You are losing hair. You search on Amazon for hair growing products - it is too much of a hassle. Hair transplant is far too expensive and does not even stay. Besides, accepting the fact that you need hair transplant ITSELF is problematic. You are still too young to need that, right?


Relatives probe, ‘Son, now is a good time to settle down!’. They know nothing. Right? Just another boomer with unsolicited advice. We know better. Right?


Your friends even hint the same question though. ‘Did you get a girlfriend?’, ‘What’s up’ followed by a long pause. If you explain about mundane things in life, they push it further, ‘Okay, but what about ... you know?’ And they smile with a question mark on their face.


You smile back. You can’t even cancel this person like you did with the boomer.

Being pushed to ‘settle down’ is a relatively minor side effect of getting older. Getting a better job, getting married - these types of ‘suggestions’ are still external. They come from others. Or, you yourself get influenced by others’ families, kids, jobs etc. These are relatively easier to deal with. 


Challenges that are personal

The personal implications are far more difficult to accept and embrace.


Remember, when you used to play cricket and the ball broke the neighbor’s window? 


What happened after that?


Well, the poor sod complained to my dad and my dad paid him some money to offset his loss. My takeaway - play carefully.


It was cheap. It was easy.


And now?


From issues in communication to failure in doing things on time, there is no one else but myself to take the blame, to take the responsibility.


This realization is hard. You can postpone your acceptance and still genuinely make mistakes (without making proper amends).


But this time, a Rs 500 bill will not fix it.


You will lose friends, lovers, children. You will lose your peace, you may lose everything that you hold dear.


The only solution?

Accept that you are an adult. And take responsibility for your actions.


Hiding behind a facade of a ‘forever teen’ manchild is easy. But it sure is not rewarding. 


So yeah, I am middle aged. I am happy, I am hard working and I am a decent person. But I am not a child.


Sure, I may make mistakes. I will try to fix things I can. 


I will not drown myself in guilt over burnt bread (unless I knowingly do something evil) either. 


But it is my moral and personal responsibility to make things right. Or at least try. And also even own up to genuine mistakes, even if (and especially when) I know that doing so will not fix everything. It may fix nothing. 


But it still needs to be done. For the sake of the future generation I nurture or inspire. And for me too!


Because, that is the right thing to do. That is my swadharma as an adult. In time, you will need to find yours.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How To: Change Fonts On The 5800, 5233 etc

The font that comes with Nokia is nice. But after six months you are bound to crave for a new look to your phone. Now changing fonts on a phone is usually not an easy task, I mean that was how you must have thought. But you know what you can use custom fonts, yes any font of your choice on your Nokia phone without any software. All you need to do is copy and paste a bunch of files. No replacing of system resources necessary! First to increase your greed, I will post some screenshots, Screenshot Gallery o   Font Style Download o Another Font Style Now let me tell you how I did it. Procedure to apply new Fonts Connect the phone in the ‘Mass Storage’ profile to the computer. Alternatively, you can use the memory card reader. Goto the Memory Card, it shows up as a Removable Disk. Navigate to the ‘resource’ folder and open it. Copy the ‘Fonts’ folder into in. Eject the device and restart. You should see the new fonts applied. Procedure to apply your Fonts Ma

Enable God Mode in Windows

You can enable “God-Mode,” a term devised by the Microsoft development team, which provides a single place to access all Windows settings without needing to browse options and folders in the Control Panel. To use it: Create a New Folder Rename the folder to God-Mode.{ED7BA470-8E54-465E-825C-99712043E01C} Note that you can change the “God-Mode” text, but the following period and code number are essential. The folder icon will change — double click it to show the God-Mode window: The window shows nearly 50 sections with quick links to configuration options. Strictly speaking, it’s not a God Mode since all the options are available elsewhere. It’s more akin to an “all tasks” list — but you may find it easier than stumbling through Windows numerous screens and panels.   Warning The trick appears to work on both the 32 and 64-bit versions of Windows 7. Vista 32-bit and Windows Server 2008 32-bit should also work. However, it is known to crash 64-bit versions of Vista — and yo

The Crow from Pakistan

Crows are black in color. They look pretty alike don't they? Unless of course there is some distinguishing mark in them like, a damaged beak, or a blind eye or something like that. Surprisingly the crow I am talking about looks pretty Indian. The same beak, the same black feathers, similar prejudices, same habits, same way of living. He had just flown across Lahore over the fence by South of Wagah to the wheatfields to the south west of Amritsar. The tresspassing crow was hungry and had started feeding on Indian wheat. I wonder where he will defecate. Was Pakistani crow shit considered bombing when the food is Indian? I didn't know. I pressed my binoculars close to my eyes and wait but my hands are aching. So I took out my tripod, keep the tea plate on top of it and rested my hands on it. Then I again held my binoculars and focused the crow. The crow was dutifully eating the wheat grains as if that was the only thing he was born for this purpose only. This continued for around