SG OwnBlog

The exams are pretty much over. Except one (Water), rest were pretty much okay. As the storm is over, the strong sense of foreboding is taking over. The feeling of dread of something that I know not. This is familiar feeling. Known territory. This land is mine. And I am going home. In the winter. For a month. For the first time in close to four years. To the mela that happens in our neighborhood. To the rides, and the fuchkas. All the familiar feelings that I had stored in my memory. The boxes that I had kept locked. The keys that I had thrown away. The sports rifle shooting shop where you were crying to take a few hits at the balloons along with your friends. The longing for some time even there, just for a few minutes remains. I pretended to not see you, as you did not 'see me'. Egos got the better of both, yours and mine. I walked past, off to home. I wish I had a time machine. I could go back, turn the clock back, snatched a few minutes, just a few hundred second

To love is easy. Being in love is a different ball game altogether. To fall in love all you need to do is nothing. You just see a girl do regular stuff and the regular stuff feels like the most extraordinary and beautiful thing to you. Then you think about her, fantasize about her, wonder about her, imagine talking, dancing, walking, etc with her and you realize that you are in love with her. Or at least severely infatuated with her. But what is truly difficult is staying in that state of altered reality. Imagine me in such situations. I would find the stony gaze of her as she passed without noticing me, not once but all the time. Oh that's lovely. How graciously she refuses every request of mine for a cup of coffee at a local coffee store brings me immense happiness. How I plunge into a sea of joy when she refuses to sit beside me in a bus that is crowded but for a lone seat by me. How sweet her voice does not sound when she does not pick up my numerous calls. And so on... Th

This was a difficult decision. Coming back to Mumbai was easy. But getting back to an academic schedule was and is tough. The adjusting is not done yet and I face problems regularly. But that is kinda obvious and I remain rather undaunted by this. As time progresses, I am sure I will fit right in. Unfortunately the rains are not doing me any good. The excess incessant rainfall dampens my spirit. Whenever I look at the sky, I find no trace of the Sun. During the day of course. Anyway, this situation will last till my mid semesters, after things are going to improve rapidly. There will be Durga Puja, my mother may come and so on. So yeah, things will look up from here.

The life as I knew it is about to end in a couple of days.  The time for procastrination is over. I can't pretend to be not afraid. Truth be told, I'm scared like hell but at the same time I am hopeful. In a way I am also certain that the days ahead are going to be fruitful and full of happiness and most importantly ...satisfaction. My packing is yet to be done. I intended to make a thorough job of it. But I am yet to really get things done as they should be. I have certain vague plans about what to do and what not do while leaving Bangalore for good. But I haven't yet made any real progress on this front. Actually, as I write this, the urgency of the matter impresses upon me. May be I should write more. Self introspection helps. Wait, that's ridiculous. Introspection is by itself ...self. Anyway, so my this time next week I will be home. For a period of two weeks at most. Then my classes will begin. Best wishes to me, I guess. 

These are difficult times. I don't mean that because of an AAP victory or a BJP defeat. I am rather disturbed about my own life and the way things are going right now. I have a few plans in place and I am working on them but the future is something we can never predict accurately. Hence the anxiety. Of course, it makes little sense to be anxious. We can only do our best and leave the rest to fate/God. But that does not make it any easier for us, any of us actually. তবে তার জন্যে আগে আমাকে ঠিক করতে হবে যে আমি ঠিক কতটা রিস্ক নিতে রাজি আছি। আমি নিজে থেকে তৈরী থাকলেও একটা পিছুটান থেকেই যায়। সেটাকে অতিক্রম করা অতি মুশকিল। তবু চেষ্টা চালাতে হবে।  যা হবে তা না হয় পরে দেখা যাবে। 

Saraswati puja has been one of my favourite festivals since my childhood. When i was a kid,I remember how my dad used to chant the mantras and we would wait patiently repeating the Sanskrit verses.  Since class IX I have had the same Saraswati. Somehow I felt she should be a part of our household. So she is still there, more than twelve years now. We are supposed to immerse them every year. But yeah, she is special.  On the whole I always loved the way the simple rituals were followed, along with the good food that we always had for the purpose. Even today I got fruits, sweets and incense sticks to do things as my dad used to do back in the day. Maybe when I do back, I will be able to redo everything the way we used to in the past. With all the family members present. I have almost forgotten how that feels like by now.

I was honestly wondering about the reality or what I perceive it as. And this is what I came across. Of course, I could have ignored it. But since God himself or Himself has decided to come up with a statement, I simply couldn't brush it aside. Ain't no 72 virgins waiting for you, fellas. — God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 9, 2015 This might break some hearts and disappoint young folks who wish to hurry up, literally. Oh, btw, I just uploaded a super cool post on SEO, regarding how to share content better. Do check it out. :D In any case, just when I was about to sign off, I had this clarification - that popped out from the Notification area - I am the Lord thy God, King of the Universe, the omnipotent and omniscient Creator of Space and Time, and I can take a fucking joke. — God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 9, 2015 Have a nice weekend!

I will be honest. I never fancied cooking in my life before. But here I am having to cook stuff for myself. Life does teach your to be flexible and it's often best to take the lessons pretty seriously. So anyway, here's a picture of the dish I cooked up for myself. It's half a pizza with fried eggs and potato fries. It may not look all that great but it's pretty much the first time I tried making a pizza at home. I will post some other stuff on cooking soon. Oh, by the way, I am posting this from my new iPad 2. I love it. <3

Waiting for an appraisal meeting is always difficult. Honestly speaking, I am more excited than scared. Last two years were not all that great, so I hope this time I am in a rather relaxed mood in comparison. Let's see what happens this time. On another note, the world is being shaken up by events that I understand little about. The Charlie Hebdo attacks have thrown many accepted points of view into question. Primary among them is the fact that the attacks have found some considerable support from many moderate voices among the Moslem communities. In any case, these are strange times. Once the mud settles down we can hope to see more clearly.

It is strongly hypothesized that multiple copies of 'our' Universe exists . All with their own entities like space, time, matter etc etc. They also have a similar Sun and a similar Earth that revolves around it. Only the non deterministic events differ! Now that may theoretically mean the Earth may revolve around Proxima Centauri . But say for our benefit, we assume that at least a sizeable number of Earths revolve around their Suns. Yeah, I know its funny but possible as practically an infinite number of parallel universes may exist. So the probability of any one type event (not one event) is also infinite. So take a step back and think what it might mean. Courtesy: hiddenuniversemovie.com It may mean that you in a different universe may have chosen a different life partner, a different career. You could have avoided a divorce, or have become a serial killer. You could have married your childhood sweetheart, whom you had to let go in this life. The possibilities are un

This happened some time back. It was a pretty cloudy day. I was wearing my school uniform. I used to go in a Maruti Omni van to school along with 5 or 6 other of my friends. In any case, after school, we used to get in a line and holding each others' bags slung on our backs(nothing silly, naughty mind) we used to go to the parking slot, led by the driver who acted as the guide cum head of security and excort. So that day was special for some reason. It rained when we were coming to school in the morning, only lightly as far as I can remember. By the time we entered school, the rains went for a break. While returning to the van, it held its breath. While our van started off, it started raining very heavily. The windows were ordered to be closed. We did not have automatic window controls then, so breaking the rule now and then was easy. The driver was a good young guy, but his primary job was to drive us safely - so after a while he stopped scolding. We would open the windows open

It's been a long time I talked to you. It's true I miss you, more at some times than others. I always wished we could be together, somewhere, for sometime, just being us. You being you, me me and all that. But I am aware of the reality, the harsh reality that imposes its will on all of us. Sometimes we are okay with it, sometimes we drink it down with a gulp of ethyl alcohol or sleeping pills. But the fact remains that when shit hits the ceiling, the person who I want to be with, other than my family is you. Shubhoratri...

The treasure hunt begins – He was giving me hints about who he was and I was replying completely wrong. After sometime the hint was “singing “.Yes he is a singer that reminded me a conversation between my friend & me pointing out at a guy who had really sung well last week when I was out of station which I ignored at that point of time. Ok.. There I get him!!! So he is “Nandan Kumar” whom I gave a non-existing movie name for dumb charades to save Chocolates which was prize for correct guess. There the conversation starts …There were days before I had noticed the same guy some evenings when I board bus who use to b odd 1 out. He is good looking and moreover we are from the same place. He had joined our company just a month before and he was   ...“Road Romeo” types. I was really happy to know somebody from the same place and the conversations went very easy from day 1. Days went on Normal with a “Good Morning” in the morning and “Tadas” in evening J . The conversations in

Time flies away so fast. I mean, just so literally effing fast! I have always of the opinion that time would have its own definite speed of travel, so to say. Of course, the very statement - speed of time is itself a paradox! In any case in case you are unable to fathom what gibberish I am talking about - fear not. That is exactly my intention. To write a couple of paragraphs without a specific intention. Of course, this has no sense inherent in it as well. Oh, see the English! Intellectuals may have certain new terms to explain this phenomenon. Some call it post modern writing. To the lay man, this is non sense - naturally. And that's exactly what I feel too. In times when idiocy and beheadings are becoming common, such nonsensical writing is disgusting, wasteful yet - harmless! So think about it. Take just 5 minutes out of your special life, pause for 300 seconds. Take a couple of selfies less a day, post a post less on Facebook, browse a tag for a short while on Twitter

Indians are not really very well known for philanthropy. This perception is changing, true. But still we are yet to reach a position where we can say that we donate money for causes we believe in. Most of the social or other work is either funded by the Government or by NGOs which almost entirely gets funds from other countries! There are plenty of crowdsourcing websites that I checked over the week and this is the one that I would like you to focus on - if you wish to do something to make a change. Rangde - This website helps you finance rural and other micro-projects that help people get started. The investment required is very little in fact - you can even donate as little as Rs. 100! If you wish to make some change and help someone directly and quickly you can do that here. Check the projects that are ongoing and you can help. You can even start with something close to where you live - maybe you can see your contribution help someone. Another part is that - the money y

I had been watching 'In The Flesh' for the last couple of weeks. I must say, I was impressed. The show has got some really serious shortcomings, but on the whole it does make a mark. Some of the most disastrous flaw is this - dead people are coming up as being alive and even then they move about pretty normally. Hell, they even respond to medicines! Without a heart beating and metabolism, they get the energy to walk, talk, attack etc and behave as normal human beings! Attached to this is the obscene relevance to religion - quotes from the Bible, to give it a more plausible meaning. This actually makes the whole thing more ridiculous. An infection would have been acceptable, but a real dead coming to half life and that too on medicines was too difficult to accept. In spite of these serious shortcomings, the story is quite solid. The acting is exemplary and convincing. The attacks make sense, the society is well structured and things are under control. Every thing is ver

Dear , I hate to admit it. But I kind of miss you. It's a friendly 'miss you'. I know the difference. Also for the first time I wished like worshiping you. By worshiping I mean all of you. Like me wishing to thank God for making every bit of you. All of you. I will be honest. I looked at you before, at the countless pictures and in person but never felt strongly about it. This was the time when I first saw you. For the first time. When I drew you. In the meantime please check out this beautiful song that I heard. Happy weekend and happy drawing, singing or whatever you wish to do to liven up your life.Will call you Sunday evening ;) Sarthak

There are some people whom you know are odd. By odd I don't mean with 3 eyes or stuff like that, that is quite normal. I mean people who lead normal lives but one look at them and you know they are mass murderers, serial killers or compulsive sex offenders etc. The unsympathetic eyes, the I don't give a f attitude and the staying aloof - all give you the signals you need. When you see these things in a person, and also add to that the 1000 yard gaze they have , sitting alone, all busy to themselves. Of course they won't have friends or even anyone to talk to. Know why? You know why - because they are serial killers at a minimum, they have their dark passengers. They kill and feel nothing and the life that you see in front of your eyes is just a facade they put up to cover their darker side. Look at the guy on the extreme left in this image - that's the stare I am talking about. So we have a serial killer in our office. I wish I could give you his name but well

After a very long time I actually felt sick. I mean physically sick. Thursday I came from office and slept right away. On Friday dragged myself to office. Irritated Jofi and when she hit back I almost felt like frying. So anyway, she had her dance audition and dressed in fiery red. Yes I hate auditions, never attended them, even when I was a part of it. But anyway there I was - on time! It started with some solo singers - some good, most terrible. Somehow I regretted not being a part of it. Finally the group dance happened and boy oh boy, she danced like anything. I really felt proud. The guy who was her partner was superb too - all in all great chemistry and a stellar performance. I was burning by then, so as soon as it was over I left. In the bus got a call from Lali and got down and walked back to stand. She did an epic screw up with her superiors. So heard her story and after she got down I slept. Reached home and slept again but not before recording a few songs.

Yes the premonitions have returned. Remember the foreknowledge of bad things happening to people I care about/ or to me personally? The feeling of being lost, disturbed sleep at night, nightmares have all come back and I don’t like one bit of it. Under the circumstances this makes me wonder about the demons who supposedly left me about 3 years ago. Is this temporary or are these to stay again. Time will tell. That I may be running out of it is another matter altogether. Also a couple of things happened last week. Some were nice and some hurt, though I don't blame anyone. At office this friend of mine said that she sometimes worries if all the guys are like me. I was kinda taken aback - I knew what she meant. She was hoping that his boyfriend would not turn out like me. I reassured her saying that I am different, most guys are good. But it hurt like hell, the innocence and honesty with which she said that was like a grenade being lobbed under my chair. I somehow just control